Missing gravity

[The Astronaut II]

After a brief stint of what looked like
bliss (atleat on paper), i've been thinking of
returning to Earth.
I thought free floating alone
between the moon and earth
with sattelites as neighbors and
meteors as menaces
would be the life for me.

I spent my life at a desk drawing up
plans for my rocket ship,
large equations and rocket boosters
darting around in my dreams for years,
and my whole life seemed to be a countdown
to the day i could say 'Blastoff!'
and leave this planet for ever.

I have pictures of me smiling in space.
Stars all around me, and the Earth so far below my feet
I create an eclipse, and look for my shadow.
I use to pass my days by pinching the space between my fingertips
with Earth directly in the center.
'I'm squishing the Earth, i'm destroying the planet!'

Now somethings missing.
This isn't all it was cracked up to be.
Its that human touch.
The personal element is missing.
As much as I hate to say it, i miss that blue dot,
and the idiots that inhabit it.
I miss home,
And i'm hundreds of thousand of miles away
but i still feel the weight of the world
squarely on my shoulders.

Theres no sound in space,
otherwise microphones on Earth would
hear me screaming to come home.
I never came up with a plan B.
Decisions are too perminant.
Silly me...

all mighty civilia (2200 minutes)

Oh momma, shes not happy.
Maternal love transcends the greenback.
theres still hope in humanity.

Ohh daddy, I heard your mad.
The phone picks up the noise of your fingers viloently
pressing buttons on calculators.
"tell him 10 cents time a thousand is too much!"
(I love you, and will see you next week!)
Its a thing we have.

I was smiling the whole time,
and its just numbers from accounts being transferred.
I work because i like to, I like the people.
Money is a... bonus? Thats not true.
(really though, i'd love for that decimal to be moved a spot to the left)

I bruised my forehead when i was upset.
(actually it was the wall that made the bruise)
((no one cares to get that literal about things))
Its just money, i'll be fine.
Good, regrets erased.

Next stop: Hollywood

1000 chimpanzees I placed in a room

and fed electric kool-aid to

re-wrote and revised Shakespeare

and made a killing on Wallstreet.

Exceprt from reflecting after a year and a half of self medication

I looked into the bathroom mirror today

And it broke.

It wasn’t the shear sight of me that shattered the glass, not directly at least,

that doesn’t really happen.

But it broke from disappointment and self pity guiding my fist

Directly into the double pained 3x2 glass reflection of myself.

Inside were all the signs of someone with problems.

Corrective medicine and bottled up demons.

Needles and razor blades and….

The medicine cabinet which I had just broke, ironically enough,

Didn’t even have band-aids or ointment to help heal my bleeding hand.

Mayday! Mayday!

[The Navigator pt. III]

What's wrong with me?
I open my eyes, briefly at first.
Only long enough to allow my eyes to confirm
what my body has been telling me;
that i'm on land.
Then again I open them, this time long enough to know that
the sun is doing perminant damage. [blink blink..they tear up, im still only human]

I sit up and take a breath of air,
then look around.
Sand and Palm trees... great, i must be on vacation..

Well shit, my beautiful vessel has 2 gaping holes in the sides.
Size and blast pattern consistent with that of a torpedo.
(A torpedo went through my home, ha, how many people get to say that?)
Everything i know is sunk or sinking.

The down side to being a mysterious man below the waves
is there will be no search party looking for me.

I look out to sea.
The whole beautiful lagoon is littered with bits and pieces
of scrap metal and paper.
[my life is now both metaphorically and literally trash on a beautiful canvas.]
I look where the waves meet up with the beach...
How convenient, a message in a bottle.
[life immitating hollywood, or hollywood imitating life?]

"We warned you! You were to ignore the sirens and leave. Really, we're very sorry it had to end happen like this, but it was the only way..."
The only way?

I recognized the handwritting.
What i wondered most had nothing to do with the words or origins of the letter,
but if the salt water stains on it
were made of tears or ocean?
(or isn't it possible theyre the same thing)

I can't stay here for long, i'm very pale
and the sun is already burning my skin.
I take a last look at my submarine and then
walk the other way down the shore.
Not more than 20 steps later I find a giant squid
washed up on the beach, and i think
"maybe there is a search party looking for me after all..."

A proper burial only seems right,
but with no shovel,
this could take all day.
I better get started...

Convieniently Placed Fortunes

To the bed,
and on the web.


"Loves come singly and leave accompanied"
"There's a good chance of a romantic encounter soon."

pg.1........Life.

[God]

where to start?
ummm Light: check
take a few atoms, add an accelerant, hydrogen and flame... explosion and pressure.
two parts science, 1 part love, 1 part closed eyes, lit matches & beakers.
light light light... light and dark, yes
land? yes land. done.
we have land what next...
plants! grass and trees and weeds and flowers, pink yellow blue flowers. leaves and ivy. Towering trees and bushes and cotton and fields of fruit!
this is beautiful, my world, so beautiful.
*cracks knuckles, and takes a sip of coffee*
life, ohhh life.. We have great whales and giraffes. Donkeys and Earth worms. Wings and legs and fins and tails.
This has all been done before, but we're going for gold.
we need... a little piece of me.
man.
Dark and handsome, like the magazines. Molded from clay,
let him borrow a drop of my blood.
Now we are one, forever. Never forget, it will be the end.
The brain, see pg. 2. Neurons and chemicals, psychology and human nature.


So optimistic.
for better of for worse
i've got a good feeling about this.
Sweet sianara boredom
i've got a new hobby
a crystal ball and a notebook
*no hypothesis are needed for a eutopia*

start big, end bigger
i'll enter my submission in county fair
and after they give the award for prize pig
and just before the light burns out and
families ride the ferris wheel that lights up both the dark
and the eyes of their children
i'll take home the blue ribbon in the science department,
and be instantly in contact with the patent department.

Call me a nerd, but you'll be hearing of me for a while.
Scientific breakthrough?
This is the stuff legends are made of.
Someday you'll all be buying something with my logo on it...
I am God.

God Bless..

Some Brent Bowles originals.