Missing gravity

[The Astronaut II]

After a brief stint of what looked like
bliss (atleat on paper), i've been thinking of
returning to Earth.
I thought free floating alone
between the moon and earth
with sattelites as neighbors and
meteors as menaces
would be the life for me.

I spent my life at a desk drawing up
plans for my rocket ship,
large equations and rocket boosters
darting around in my dreams for years,
and my whole life seemed to be a countdown
to the day i could say 'Blastoff!'
and leave this planet for ever.

I have pictures of me smiling in space.
Stars all around me, and the Earth so far below my feet
I create an eclipse, and look for my shadow.
I use to pass my days by pinching the space between my fingertips
with Earth directly in the center.
'I'm squishing the Earth, i'm destroying the planet!'

Now somethings missing.
This isn't all it was cracked up to be.
Its that human touch.
The personal element is missing.
As much as I hate to say it, i miss that blue dot,
and the idiots that inhabit it.
I miss home,
And i'm hundreds of thousand of miles away
but i still feel the weight of the world
squarely on my shoulders.

Theres no sound in space,
otherwise microphones on Earth would
hear me screaming to come home.
I never came up with a plan B.
Decisions are too perminant.
Silly me...